Gee, that looks like a spade

Calling a spade a spade today. Or perhaps I should say seeing things for what they really are. No harm in this- in fact, recognizing what something is instead of perhaps what you wish it to be (or thought it was) is a good thing. Maybe something to do with Mercury wandering into Libra in the last 24 hours, although today Mercury is squaring Pluto (meaning at 90 degrees, or causing friction). We could expect "deep concentration, penetrating logic, uncovering what's hidden, revealing secrets. Words exchanged may cut deeply. Also Libra-Sun and Jupiter are trine (this is good), offering hope or opportunities despite what may be uncovered today. Mercury and Pluto were previously linked in the same manner on August 25 & 26. Perhaps, a resolution to events/issues from that period will be in store today."
Yesterday for instance I found out sadly that I AM on the hook for the $1500 bill for the condo flood repairs from last year, despite my repeated, insistent arguments to the contrary. However the company is open to allowing me to make payments to them which I am thankful for, seeing as this is how it has to be. Sucks though; that's a big bill and I worked so, so hard on fighting it. Evidently I should have submitted some documentation about a year ago that may have changed the outcome. I guess the silver lining is this will be a write off next yr when I submit for taxes since I paid for upgrades to the rental unit, so let's look at it that way =)

Otherwise I've been looking up with some curiosity what life coaching is. Just who is a life coach? What credentials must they have? Who would invest in this (as opposed to using a psychiatrist, psychologist, counsellor, or talking to coworkers, peers and their social circle)? It's rather a recent phenomenon, this "coaching" business- sort of blossoming over the past decade or so. The word itself has sort of been reinvented in the PC movement, as many terms we previously used have been. You know how it is; you're not so much FAT as you may be gravitationally challenged. Or not so much a panhandler as you may be an unaffiliated applicant for private sector funding. =) Seriously though, there are so many types of coaches- career or business coaches (mentorship, leadership.. ps is this now another name for Manager?!), life coaches, fitness & weight loss coaches, dating & relationship coaches, conflict and mediation coaches, grief and loss... I can see the merits of many of these specific areas of "coaching" but am curious honestly WHAT makes coaching so different than other existing traditional professions, other accreditations and degrees? AND just who uses a coach and why when these other professions exist? Do tell, I am curious to know.... Personally were I to need direction myself I would contact my benefits administrator (looks at self), go through my workplace benefits and make use of a counsellor. It's a paid for benefit and I would like to think that many benefits plans make this option available to them. Maybe my workplace is special.
Arguably if I were to need business direction, or assistance starting up a new company I may contemplate contacting a career coach or business advisor (probably after researching, investigating, reading books, joining an investment club, seeking professional opinions and talking to people already in that industry). And truth be told I have hired a personal trainer before (which you could label a fitness coach) when I wanted personal direction at the gym years ago. Can't say I would use the dating coach or any of the other above listed niche market coaching options. Again- all covered using certified counsellors or psychologists, and investing in self care, self development and self awareness programs.
Interesting, nonetheless -and very specific, tailored to the needs of the client. Some clients I am sure need more one on one, customized assistance where they can pick up the phone and contact their coach when they need it (?) I think I need to understand this a bit more. Do tell people, do tell ..??

I'm such a sucker for talent shows and just watching in awe these amazing, amazing people. People with dreams. Ordinary people with amazing gifts. People we should celebrate. People who are fine representatives of the human spirit. If only each and every one of us would find inside of us what we are gifted with and show it willingly, with pride.

I'll begin with the youngest and work my way up:

6-year old Emily Bear playing piano at the white house

Elizabeth Barrett reading at 17 months old

Natalie Okri age 10, wants to be a diva like Beyonce, thank you very much.

Shaheen, Welsh singer

Greg Pritchard a hotel waiter with a hidden talent.

Shaun Smith, I know I know I know I know this guy's good

Eugene, the librarian- sad and funny at the same time

Paul, the mobile phone salesman- and opera singer

And lastly- Dream a Dream, so says Susan Boyle

S***, the four letter S word

The S*** is back.

Three weeks (or so) of summer, which waits until SEPTEMBER to come, and already there it is- that S***. I don't even want to say the word. Don't want to ACKNOWLEDGE it's existence. Truly it is EVIL in white flaky form, falling sneakily from the heavens, looking all soft and innocent. It isn't, of course. It kills people, you know. S*** is eeeeviiiilllll.

I was watching a comedian the other night on TV; the really sarcastic guy- what's his name... Not Ron White, although if you ever want a representative for "bitter" and "sarcastic" I think he'd volunteer... No, it was Lewis Black. He said he'd never heard of people who would voluntarily live where it was -30 to -50 for 6 months of the year. He says it's not so much that the weather is suggesting you not live there, it's God's way of saying GET THE HELL OUT.

It's about minus 6 or 7 at the lowest right now, so probably have to consider this warm weather going forward, if this cold spell continues. You never know here; the weather can change on a dime. From morning to night you can go from using the AC to using heat. In one day. Mom's lucky to have headed back to the balmy west coast just in time to escape this.

We made a huge, huge ham Monday night for her arrival here. Today is pea soup day. Mmmm, pea soup with big chunks of haaaammmmm... mmm.

*sigh*

Yeah, the gym. I should go there. Haven't gained, haven't lost- just hanging in there. I s'pose it takes activity to further this quest for weight loss. I'll contemplate that while I eat my pea soup =)

Over the years various family members have had some interesting experiences with celebrities. I thought just for fun let me share them with you.

My great grandmother's family owned property in Harrison Hot Springs BC in the early 1920s and throughout the 30s. My Nana, as a child, and her siblings and cousins would play on the beach there. Just down from their place an American couple had just purchased a cabin - one Mr Clark Gable and his first wife Josephine Dillon. I have a couple sepia colored photos of them on their front porch, taken by my family while the up and coming Mister Gable vacationed away from the Hollywood excitement and lifestyle.

In the next generation, my grandfather was an Executive in the energy field. He had received his Bachelor of Commerce from UBC and landed a great position with BC Hydro following WW2. From the 40s through to the late 60s he worked his way up through the organization. I believe at the height of his career he was head of the Labour Relations for Hydro. Being that his career spanned the golden age of hydro and the nature of his position, he spent a lot of time travelling extensively- California, Arizona, Chicago. Often meeting with various union leaders and companies, discussing and reviewing ideas, living out of a briefcase and carton of cigarettes and frequenting men's Playboy clubs. Based on the size of his collection of swizzle sticks and matches he amassed I know the man was well travelled. We have reels and reels of his experiences. He filmed Hollywood and Vine as it was teeming with 1950s cars. We have some footage of a small IBM plant somewhere- lots of neat time capsuled moments caught on film, forever immortalized at that date. Mom says her dad called home one night and spoke to her from Chicago. He was in a phone booth there and said in a very low, serious voice, "Right now, I am standing five feet away from John F Kennedy and can I tell you- he looks better in person than on film." Very cool.

Flash forward to some years later and my mother had begun vacationing in the Gulf islands of BC. At a small local marina a not so local man had docked his boat, raising some eyebrows and exciting some onlookers. People tried to look nonchalant, but John Wayne waved and bellowed a hearty hello to them all.

My personal experiences are not quite as exciting as these, although I can think of 2 interesting and noteworthy moments. When I was likely oh ten years old a local grocery store hosted the Vancouver Canucks for autographs and I received a signed Canucks puck from Tiger Williams. In the early 80s (and to a 10yr old rural kid) this was pretty cool. I see online that if I still had this puck it'd be worth a cool twenty bucks.

Later in life, and only a few years ago, I worked with a relative of a celebrity. So it came as not much surprise to us when one day Ryan Reynolds walked in to our workplace. At the time he was still dating Alanis Morissette and living around Vancouver. I don't think one person went and said hi to him, either out of fear or respect I'm not quite sure which!

Last ones I have, a friend and fellow artist from highschool landed a great gig as a bass player. You can probably figure out which one she is in this photo of her band State of Shock. I'm pretty impressed with her ability to follow her dreams and actually have that elusive career as a successful artist. It's good to know people who do that, like Brad Turner (Brad Turner Quartet from Vancouver- jazz musician) who I went to church with throughout my childhood (amazingly talented family) And of course I might know this guy here at far right in the band Idle Eyes. Course his hair is different now =)... Nice work, people- inspiring lives you lead.

One little celebrity I am doing my best to promote and support right now (as you may have seen in prior posts) is Miss Sophia. Check out her site here, and learn about her Ready For Bed Week quest. Sophia wants to raise money to buy bedkits for kids in developing countries. She's pretty inspiring too. Rock on Sophia; you've done more by age six than many do in their lifetime.

Today's Thought

Flatter me, and I may not believe you.

Criticize me, and I may not like you.

Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.

Encourage me, and I may not forget you.

Mars Attacks! Fiery Mars stays in each sign for about seven weeks; however, sometimes it goes retrograde and stays a bit longer. Occasionally, Mars will stay in a sign for months! Mars is an energy planet, and is associated with our ego. The energy of Mars maintains our will to live, and our drive to attain what we want. It's associated with ambition, sexuality, and aggression. (Traditionally, of course, Mars is the ruler of war.) In about a week, Mars is going to enter Leo where it will stay until June of next year. (Whaaat?) This is most unusual! The last time Mars had a lengthy stay in Leo was 15 years ago in 1994-95. This is definitely going to hype different areas of our lives (according to your sign). It will really make the Fire signs -- Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius -- very powerful. Oh well, yes, power corrupts, but absolute power is kinda neat.

/slaps forehead
God help us all...

I'll just continue my posting today... I have a sense of achievement woot woot! The house is C-L-E-A-N, people... CLEAN I tell you ! Truthfully since we moved in this March I don't believe I have had it in this condition =) I even unpacked those last 2 defiant boxes I tucked away in the bsmt and put those things in their places. All is glistening, all is good... Didn't quite do it all, of course. I'm not that good... I didn't get the bsmt swept up, the bdrm completely finished (helloooo I'm just going to sleep in the bed and mess it up anyways!) or outside things since it was raining. But it's a 98% completion rate and that is STILL an A plus in my books.

Haven't posted about the weight; not because I fell of the wagon- nope, I'm still going strong. I think I've actually learned (*gasp!*) what to eat, what not to eat, what a PORTION IS... and it's just second nature now to consume what I need, as opposed to what I want (or out of boredom or emotional reasons). Certainly I could work out more, I've dropped off there which I think is partly some real life things going on taking my attention away. Also why the weight loss is slowing of course. The weather changing does NOT help. But I'm going to try later in the week to get to the gym and pump some iron, do some cardio. Maybe go for a swim, too. All said and done as of today I am minus 37 pounds (*applause*) Once or twice in the past week I got that one pound further but it just won't hold there. It's okay; i'm not sweating anything. I know the slower it comes off the better. The important thing is that in the 87 days I've been working on this I see some great results, so do others, and I've LEARNED to eat better. That's the whole idea- changing the destructive behaviour.

Got a visit tomorrow with Mom who's travelling out this way for a few days! Hence the frantic house cleaning =) I think it should meet with her approval. Be nice to spend a couple days together - last time we were together was New Year's so I'm looking forward to this. We have a nice dinner planned, and five bucks says I am fussing as much as she is about the whole trip lol. So true- the older we get the MORE WE'RE LIKE OUR MOTHERS !!!! =)

OCTOBER 3-4 Full moon in Aries

The Aries Full Moon can restore a sense of the highly invigorated Self, before you're diluted, distracted, discouraged. It is the freshness of the original you, taking action without letting fear stop you. Its touch of defiance can help you break free of suffocating social convention. There's fight in Aries that resists being manipulated, en-tranced, branded with someone else's logo. Being in touch with the concentrated version of who you are, reminds you of your personal power. Where the planets lie at this time brightens the possibilities of using technology to weave new social webs. It favors experimental and innovative solutions to fix what's askew. We can tune in together to a higher frequency of compassion, humanitarianism, and respect for all life. Great leaps can happen because of the instantaneous 'net, turning the "Other" into the global community!

Bottom line is ... Go forth and do what is best for your Self and others. Full moons can make some people more emotional, passionate- even irritable and edgy. But this full moon asks you to use that energy to take action, make goals and changes. Be part of the Greater Good. And choose to be kind. Sophia says so.

MY MANTRA

I am like a little round bead. I can roll with it, I can take a few hits, I can let things go. I move through life easily and freely. Life is Simple and Easy.

Some people are unable to let things go. There are those that struggle with rolling with it, and truthfully i've been there. I've been more of a poor little Emo sponge than a ball. I've spent time absorbing my or other people's issues, getting saturated with feelings, getting heavy (literally).

I don't feel that way anymore. Today I can manage. Today I can take what you give me and I will assess it. If it doesn't serve me or offer anything positive, if I don't need to own it, I will just continue on. I'm putting the old me back together. Maybe a new improved version; a little older and wiser.

It's unfortunate when people treat each other poorly. It's unneccessary. It serves no purpose to put out hostile, vengeful, spiteful energy. Bad karma in general is sooo not cool. And none of us are perfect, I mean I *TRY* to put karma pennies in the piggy bank. But sometimes it's not easy (or it feels like it's just not enough) to just shake your head and say wow, I hope that person gets better. I hope their attitude changes for the better. I hope they have a better day. I wish them well and healing thoughts because they are obviously messed up. When really you just want to go up to them and say what the HELL is wrong with you?! What in your BRAIN made what you just SAID or DID appear NORMAL to you!?! You freakin (insert favorite word here). Know what I mean?!!! But really who does that help. That energy is soooo counter productive. And plus if they're that stupid are they going to get anything you have to say? Likely not. Which will just piss you off more, so why go there.

Ah, anger. Such a fun and yet useless energy. It's healthy to get angry sometimes, especially if you spend all day acting normal...( omg that is a funny link) Just remember that you're the only one you're hurting by being angry. Buddhist teacher Lama Surya Das reminds us that… “Patience means not retaliating with anger for anger, or harm for harm, and voluntarily bearing up under difficulties in order to progress on the path of spiritual awakening.”

***edit, new link***

CHOOSE TO BE KIND

What is peace

Click this picture...
and just listen...

It's called Cloudburst;
what an absolutely phenomenal composition.

The photo link is Eric Whitacre, the green link is the World Youth Choir directed by María Guinand.

Other great songs
(these are Eric Whitacre):

Sleep
Waternight
Nox Aurumque

Jeff Enns, Ave Maria

Funicoli, Angelina (World Youth Choir) Hilarious!! Italians will actually understand what he's saying. I was merely entertained by his face and voice, I LAUGHED OUT LOUD. Cutest song ever!

I'm so glad I looked up choral music; I'd let myself forget what a powerful influence and rewarding experience that choir was for me. I adored choir. I always wanted to be a better singer and to continue improving. It's so, so moving for me to hear vocalists of that calibre, with that much talent, all in one place, at one time. And such a percussive nature to creating rain in a song. Kind of like that Honda Commercial, remember this? Amazing, amazing, amazing.

*edit*
Weep O Mine Eyes, for a friend

Yesterday I had a pooey day.
It started out with my cats clawing at my door around 5am, looking for breakfast. All night I had tossed and turned. At 5am I had zero tolerance for breakfast requests. I stomped furiously out of bed, flung the door wide open, grabbed whomever was clawing at the door and launched them airborn a few feet away. (Nobody was harmed in the filming of this episode) I stormed back to bed, heart pounding, teeth clenched and attempted to go back to sleep- which I did not. I lay there, seething with anger, thoroughly annoyed and wishing feverishly that I had been awarded a good night's rest for my favorite dayshift (psst that was sarcasm- I haaaaaate dayshifts). After about oh, an hour, I fell back asleep for a matter of some forty five minutes and woke up cranky to start the day. Someone may as well have shit in my oatmeal. By lunchtime I managed to get my mood slightly elevated, distracting myself with something shiny and some string, and I concentrated on The Good Things I Like at work. My workday came to a close and I literally grabbed my car keys and ran frantically for the door. Pretty sure I left a vapor trail.
At home I checked the mail. Got a letter from "The Past". As you may know last year in August my condo had a flood. I ranted here about repairs that were done that I (apparently) am supposed to pay for (which I don't agree with). I've been trying (hopefully not in vain) for months to plead this case. The Letter From The Past was from the contractor who did the repairs, who stated I must pay the full amount owing in four days or it would go to collections. I felt like I had been kicked in the teeth. Let me explain.
If this bill were to go to collections it would tank my already vulnerable and fractured credit rating even further. If this bill were to do this damage, even if I did manage to complete my subdivision for the duplex that I have spent much of this year pursuing, I would not qualify for a refinance. My debts would not be paid off, my situation would certainly not improve, and everything I have been working all year for would be in vain. All this from this letter, all from this point if they sent this to collections. This was not just a letter, this was quite possibly THE END of My Plans.
I did what I could to defer the situation. I emailed the contractor. I said I wish I could help you. I have been trying all year to resolve this issue, specifically so that you CAN be paid for this invoice. I regret I cannot pay you. I do not have the means. Please be patient.
I emailed the insurance company. I said I wish you would have an answer soon; this company needs to be paid and they are escalating their voice, threatening me with collections.
I emailed some friends and said omg you guys, I dunno what I can do. What can I do. And of course I ate ice cream and had some moments to myself.
But tomorrow is another day.
Another Day came and the cats slept in- in fact everyone slept soundly until 10am. There were no disturbances in The Force. I slept solid and good. I woke up, albeit puffy eyed and groggy, and I thanked my cats- each and every one- for allowing me a good, much needed rest. I kissed them and fed them their favorite breakfast and served it up with much love. My spectacular other half drove up to the store to get me a tall, tasty hazelnut flavored coffee. I had a long hot shower while my coffee manifested, and thought about how I wanted my day to be today.
I got myself ready and turned on my computer this morning. I went to my inbox and there were three emails. One from the contractor, one from insurance and one from my friend. I opened the contractor's email from the accounts receivable department. She said I can hear you are having a hard time, so I will not forward your information to collections. I will wait for you to resolve this. Please let us know how things turn out, and I hope things improve for you. *tears up* I saved the email. I opened the next email from insurance. It said I am sorry to have not responded to you this week; we are working on getting you answers. You will hear from us shortly. And my girlfriend said you know what? I have these days too. I understand, I get it, you can always talk to me, you are fantastic.
I thanked each one of them. And I was conscious today. I thought all day about what kind of day I wanted, what I wanted to say to people, how I wanted to be.
Some days you have to be present, be aware of what you put 'OUT THERE'. I'm finding myself trying more and more every day to hear how I sound to other people, how I FEEL when I say or do things. It's actually quite tough listening and observing yourself; it's hard not to find fault or beat yourself down when you recognize you could've done it differently, or better. But there's no use feeling crappy simply because you haven't learned something yet. And what if THE END came and you had to revise Your Plans- it's not the worst thing that could happen. It may be HARD; it may even be uncomfortable. But it doesn't need to be as tragic as you feel it is. So chillax already, Drama Queen.
I look forward to tomorrow. There will ALWAYS BE another day.
It will ALWAYS BE what you want it to be. I mean, you're responsible.
I'll get to learn something else- likely even something useful.
And hey, if you don't have other plans tomorrow, have a great day okay?!

We are not onlookers peering into the unified field of separate, objective reality - we are the unified field. We can reach beyond the physical body and extend the influence of intelligence. Every thought you are thinking creates a wave in the unified field. It ripples through all the layers of intellect, mind, senses, and matter, spreading out in wider and wider circles. You are like a light radiating not photons but consciousness. As they radiate, your thoughts have an effect on everything.

Your relationship to life is the same as that of one cell to your whole body. One cell can talk to your whole body. One cell can influence your whole body. You can talk to the whole of life - influence the whole of life. The whole of life is as alive as we are. The distinction between 'in here' and 'out there' is a false one - as if the heart disregarded the skin because it was not on the inside.

Deepak Chopra

Been taking part in a 'speriment lately that is related to the law of attraction. I love it, because it's a 30 day long project. Being a month long, I think this assists you in addressing your questions and beliefs about the LAW OF ATTRACTION, every day for 30 days. Doing anything for a LENGTH of time helps you cement things. What's interesting about the experiment is reading all the other participant's comments and seeing where they are at. We're all in different places in our lives and going through different things. Everyone has different needs and desires.

MIy issue is allowing other people to HAVE their different needs and desires and lessons, without JUDGING their journey. Why, why do I do this?! Sister knows what I mean, lol. Holymother always has her 2 cents worth, and it usually starts with the words "I'm just saying"... (*grins*) I mean, I'm okay with it. I have opinions and they will be heard! HOLLA! But at times I'd do best to shut the hell up and let other people live. It's not my place to tell people how to live or judge their decisions. Do I want that? NOT ! Nope... no thx.

Speaking of opinions, I thought it interesting, in that first link above, that the author discusses people who play the lottery. She says, "I personally think focusing on winning the lottery is a fruitless event. Focusing on winning the lottery is kind of like focusing on "not having." Most people expect to lose on the lottery- I mean, ideally the odds are well against you. I confess I play, too, but only when money allows and only when the jackpot is excessively high. They always say you'd do better to take the cash you'd put into buying tickets (let's say 10 bucks a week), save it, invest it, grow it. Guaranteed at the end of the year you'd have more $ than had you try to WIN your money back!! Studies in fact show that lotteries set off a vicious cycle that not only exploits a low-income individuals' desire to escape poverty but also directly prevents them from improving upon their financial situations. So buy lottery tickets if you want to be let down, or expect to lose money, or want to assure yourself that life is about losing and not having. Is that what you want? It's as good as waiting for Tuesday... whenever that is. And let's face it, waiting and patience NOT MY FORTE.

I know the argument, "someone has to win and it may as well be me". But I'd rather take a more hands on, personal responsibility approach to life. I make my life. I make the choices, I make the goals... and before and while those goals are coming to fruition, I visualize the results I want. They may not come to pass exactly like I visualized but at least I focus on the results throughout the journey. Here are some linkies to explore for more thoughts on this.

Law of Attraction Quiz

100 Self Awareness Tests!

Intent.com (which is down right now, but do bookmark it and check it later)

Visualization

Quick, tell me what to write!!

THE EXCHANGE
6 of Pentacles

Ha! Actually I knew exactly what I want to write about- this card. I was just reading different interpretations of what it means to other tarot readers. Here is one:

This is a clear indicator that it's important to share your spiritual understandings with others. You may not realize it, but you already have important insights to share. Equally so, it tells you that you do not have a corner on ALL the truth, and that you would do well to make a point to learn from others about their spiritual understandings. In short, undertake dialogues, in whatever way you can; don't keep it all to yourself. Your life will deepen immeasurably if you reach out.

And it always will. Exchanges always deepen your life. Through exchanging we learn. Quite likely why I love being online, reading other people's blogs and journeys, their successes and their challenges. It is one of my favorite things to explore. Sister calls it learning self awareness. I just know that I love it; it's as good as group meditation to me. I look forward to exchanging every day with other people. It's what energizes me =)

I'm going to call this picture FOOP (it's by an artist named Deerhoof, which is apparently also a band. Dunno- just thought this artwork that I randomly found was kind of interesting). What initially drew me to it is that it has the words FRIEND, OPPORTUNITY, and FOOD. Actually if I continue to unscramble words (which I have a habit of doing) I can find OUTPOUR, YOU, FIND, FOUND, PROUD and several other good words in there.

Opportunity and loss, that's what I want to talk about today. So many times we see loss and change as bad or hard, frustrating or aggravating. Change and loss is actually an opportunity to have things improve; for things to move into a new direction. Some people find themselves and their passion in times of loss or choose a new path entirely. When something hasn't necessarily been working sometimes you need to accept that it was ineffective and move towards new opportunity. And there are SO many things out there to explore, so many options, so much abundance to choose from.

I think for me my biggest issue is I want to do too many things, all at once usually (*grins* Hello Overachievers Anonymous? Yes it's me, the President of your club....) My interests are so varied, too. I think I'll draw it all out and stare at it all on paper- often you can find what thing you are most passionate about if you do that.

I dig so many things- from tarot and astrology to art, writing, marketing, public speaking, talking (lol), real estate and talking about investing options, I could make a really long list. And how about coaching? What is it all about? (Or maybe what ISN'T it about?) Coaching comes in all forms- health coach, life coach, business coach, mentorship, yada yada yada. I honestly can't believe that people would pay me to tell them what to do... (Wait- do I do that now?! lol) Let's brainstorm a way to bring all my interests together : Tony Robbins?! Ha! I could be the next Banana Hands! Yessssss!! I HAVE A PLAN !!!!!!

=)

Been thinking a lot about this photo I have (that I'm not going to look for at this particular moment) of the Pacific Ocean. I took it while on a BC Ferry ride on a clear, beautiful sunny day and the water was like a mirror. It was like Buttah! (Talk amongst yaselves, I'm all veclept at the thought.)

Anyhoo, so's I see this photo of footprints and I thinks to myself I oughta post and make my little footprints on the internets this evening. (And no I'm not going to insert the footprints poem that is so overdone on motivational posters it makes me not like it... *sticks out tongue*)

However I will take a moment to soapbox. Or at least poke your brain. What about the whole thought of leaving YOUR footprint? What if I were to ask you what legacy will you leave? How do you affect others? Are you a positive influence? Again- back to my post a long while back about family lineage- this fascinates me, the thought that someone may look ME up in say- a hundred years. Some family member way down the line, and ask just who was she? What did she do? What made her tick? I know, such a nerd thinking about things like that - but truly it could likely happen. Hopefully my online trail will have long disappeared by then... =) I better check if my cookies are turned on or off...!!!!

Actually on a serious astrological note this is probably a good time to reflect on what's working for us and what's not so much, what with it being a new moon and all (I think officially tomorrow). Let me read you what that link says that stands out to me :

This New Moon asks us to see what we've got, right here and right now. And to drop whatever we're carrying that is hurting us. It's a pathway that requires us to discern which pieces we should leave by the wayside, and which are essential parts of who we are. But we are never alone, and can ask for spirit to show us the difference.

There's an aspect of surrender both to Virgo, and to New Moons. That makes this a special time to release and rest your weary bones in the lunar darkness, and emerge brand new on the other side. It's a kind of "last chance" Moon, before we're swept up in the cardinality coming our way through 2010. This is our time to prepare, before being swept up in cosmic events greater than ourselves. You may sense it's coming. So let this New Moon work its mutable magic, so the pieces fall into their right place.

Another site says it this way:

This New Moon in Virgo will help us to recognize, honor, and preserve personal and family traditions in order to bring comfort into our lives and maintain a firm base for future growth. It will help us to discover the importance in remembering where we come from, which will give us a deeper sense of who we are now and how we wish to develop in the future. Being self-aware will make us stronger, less vulnerable, and protect us from destabilizing, external influences in our lives.

So good time to contemplate our Selves and our paths. Food for thought =)

ps I love the slogan of this blog- "EVOLVE ON PURPOSE, LOVE YOUR DESIGN".
WORD...

Feeling much better today ...
I started getting my Self back yesterday afternoon. My normal rowdiness started to return, my inside voice turned on and my Happy Self came out. Ahhh!

So today let's turn a page and start to invite some Good in. You might want to play this little game here yonder. Clickie on the picture for information. I've been playing this Prosperity game for the past year (and actually played a few yrs ago for a bit also but this time I REALLY focused on it, since reading LOA books and "getting" the Big Picture) I so love getting cheques every day online for $95,000 and more and then SPENDING them, telling the Universe where you are going with this money and what you are doing in your state of sudden prosperity. You cannot argue with this! Seriously, check it out.

Anyways since I'm feeling better I best be getting out there and spreading my vitality around. People dig that =) Ciao for now!

Yeah, so a little under the weather since about oh, Thursday last week. Needing some chicken soup therapy I think. Dragging my ass, ZERO energy (which is not like me at all), belly problems, the whole shabang. Slept last night for 13 hours solid. Literally got home and into bed, asleep by 7pm. Weird... Needless to say no gym, no walks, eating well check check but not so much with the activity. Weight staying steady at minus 32 pounds. (I hit minus 34 pounds last Tuesday but it didn't stick lol) Still on target for the Big Goal of minus 50-60 by Xmas which I am positive I will attain.

The condo claim that I wrote about last may be getting somewhere, I hope. The Ombudsman wrote me back today and said who can I contact for you, so I told him where to go (in a nice way). Hoping he can make some headway.

Reading my cards a lot lately and getting SO MANY MULTIPLES. Today I pulled three Ones (one of pentacles, one of wands, one of cups) and I swear two of everything else- there were two 9s, two 10s, two 7s, holymother... Almost daily I get the 9 of cups. That smug fat man, grinning back at me like he knows something I don't. Jerk! I honestly have so many things going on (I know, gasp, so unlike me ~NOT!) that it's hard to interpret what they're talking about. And admittedly I don't have the capacity with how I'm feeling to "listen" to them, not that this is my forte anyways. I feel like I can read better for other people than myself.

Anyhoo must rest some more before work, I feel like I need more time in bed, sadly. ttys

I don't know what makes it happen- maybe it was the fact I was born breach, so I'm eager to offend others- but I have this NEED to take on challenges and fight for things that I really believe in. Could be the whole Aries thing, could be that my name apparently means little womanly warrior (*giggles*) I dunno. But seriously, don't piss me off or I'll .. I'll get mad.. and stuff.

So since this stupid flood in my condo I've had to ARGUE and ARGUE about why the eff should I have to pay for the contractors fixing my cabinets or repairing my kitchen. (Do we not pay insurance to do this?! What are we paying for then??) The contractor has been billing me, literally since February, for the cabinets and I REFUSE TO PAY IT. Especially since I found out that another unit owner received a couple thousand dollars in financial compensation for her unit's kitchen repairs and cabinet replacement costs, and so I hit the brakes hard. (And get this, she didn't submit any invoices or bills to them, they just paid her a cheque out of the blue for a sum she said they must have just made up...) So I promptly called up the insurance company who confirmed why yes, each unit was allotted 2 grand for cabinets (which is peanuts, by the way). My cabinets (which were cheap ones) cost $2485 total. Now tell me this - then WHY would the contractor bill me $1506 for kitchen repairs -slash- cabinetry replacement costs if they received 2 grand for cabinets that cost $2485?? Excuuuuuuuuuse me, but I am not THAT bad at math that this does not make sense. Hellooooooooooo. So's I keep contacting the insurance company, saying hey, what up. And they ignore me. So I email them some more. And they ignore me. So after 8 weeks of waiting for them to respond (which I'm sorry but that is a generous amt of time) I have forwarded my complaints to their Ombudsman, who I hope WILL contact me, and WILL see things my way. Meanwhile I've requested a copy of the insurance coverage from my condo board so for my own future reference, I may REFER to in case something like this ever happens AGAIN (god forbid).

*****breathes*****

Mmmmmkay, so in less hostile moments, I am being less Aries-like and more Virgo-esque. =) I have been cleaning, organizing, purging, painting, mending and even sewing buttons on pants. Oh I know, sewing you say? Domestication?! Oh yes- I know, it is "not normal" for me to do these things. Swinging hammers and sawing into walls, sure! Oh yes, I will power tool challenge any of you any day. However I am finding a sense of newness to things once they are "fixed" and usable again. Of course I did totally wreck one pair of pants because I went a step too far and tried to make a button hole by hand which I don't suggest you try at home. It looks like a round hole, with like, threads around it.... in some places. Ah well, I'm better at angry letter writing than sewing up holes. Sew what !?

=)

Gah! Google changed the font size, what the eff! Seriously, I am not so old that I NEED TO READ LARGER FONT FOR EFFS SAKE. Let me choose the damn font size! ARGH! Apparently not everyone is experiencing this. Lucky those that are not- I would like to be one of you! My eyeballs see QUITE fine on their own, thanks Google, so piss off with ENLARGING EVERYTHING SO I CAN SEE IT... *grimaces* Dude i feel like every time I search something it's some sort of TEST.... *GROWLS* !!! Google like totally pwnd us. Lame.

Anyhoo now that that is off my chest I will pick a more happy subject =) Let me think, what have I to select from, hmmm...!! JK, there is oodles to celebrate. Like my weight loss, my new haircut, the fact summer just arrived here last week, the word nublet because I love it... sure, loads of things !... yeah, lots. Oh, fer sure. Soooo many. Tooo many to list. Better stop while I'm ahead here afore I get too gushy about allllll this good. Whew! I'm all overwhelmed.... all a-flutter.... vaclempt even. So I will leave you with some facts about Sean Connery. Why the hell not. He's such a good Scot.

=)

It's time for..

THE COUNT !

Yes, today is Day Sixty (since I began eating properly and working out). Sixty Days! Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Let me count de nombers on de scale, and we vill see just how we do... One! One pound ah ha ha ha! (Okay let's skip ahead...) ...twenty nine ah ha ha ha! Ah!Thirty! Ah ha ha ha!! THIRTY ONE POUNDS! Yes! Yes, we did it by Day Sixty! The official results this morning. Back to my Dec 2006 weight...

Happy Labour Day everyone....I'm going to spend mine cleaning, organizing (taking that Virgo energy and running with it) and walking because it is a BEE-YOO-tiful day. Enjoy, go have a picnic!!

So just when is next Tuesday?!

Private joke.

(I'll explain it vaguely in this post, at least so you get the drift...)

I just need to know when Tuesday is. Or maybe what month it falls in, or what year?!!

I guess what made me think about Tuesday is that for someone I know, "TUESDAY" is THE DAY that something BIG will happen. Life changing. And they believe in the coming of this event- on some upcoming Tuesday- faithfully, completely, unwaveringly, that it *WILL* indeed happen. And having posted yesterday about the law of attraction, and belief, and creating - slash- inviting things into your life perhaps I should not be so quick to write off Tuesday happening because hey- you never know. Tuesday could be right around the corner.

So what if Tuesday did happen? What if I allowed myself to believe in my own *big* dreams, or really- just allowed myself to believe? There's no harm in doing so, right?! I should get on the wagon along with them and add to the power of their intentions. Who knows, Tuesday may come. It may actually exist!

In my own daily manifestations (!) I am down a trifle more, here on Day 58, to minus 29 pounds. I hope on Day 60 (Monday, and Labour Day, ironically lol... after all, this has been a lot of work!!!) to have hit the 30 pound mark. My ultimate goal is to drop another 30 by Xmas (about 13 more weeks), which would take me to a weight I haven't been at since I was in my early twenties. Today I haven't weighed this amount in about two and a half years. Last year the lowest I got to was about 3 pounds more than now- so not drastically different, but seeing those numbers on the scale is a psycholigical accomplishment. Getting into the 160s means I'm that much closer to getting back to the 150s, the 140s, and even the 130s. Becoming healthy, fit, lean and strong.

The biggest obstacle isn't the daily grind of exercising and eating properly. It's undoing the BRAIN. It's believing I can do it. It's KNOWING I can. It's recognizing that my Tuesday is right there - just a matter of time, dedication and belief.

Yep- I can tell. It's almost Tuesday =)

Fast post before I literally wander off down the street...

Must be payday and a Full Moon- I diligently paid all my bills up today and reviewed my budget for the month. I should be good if I just follow the schedule I made.

My challenge is overcoming the influx of bills I received last month. 300 bucks for water services, 600 bucks for hydro at all 3 properties, and we got busted for speeding- both of us. Goddammit. I would GLADLY pay property taxes if we were allowed to speed anywhere we wanted in the city- I think I should lobby for this. Charge me $2800 a year for property taxes, I just want to go 80 in the 50 zones okay?! I see nothing wrong with this plan.

Having said all this I so need to return to reading about law of attraction and manifestating what i want, as opposed to focusing on what money is hemorraging from my pockets. Which just makes larger holes in them. It does not help inviting more bills !!!! Seriously....!

Anyways I'll contemplate that while I walk down to the gym. Down 28 pounds today woot woot so I best continue what is working and focus on fat loss lol !! I'd like to hit leaner numbers this month because I have a "bigger goal" of returning to my "proper size" by Xmas. There's nothing standing in my way, I am completely capable of being a strong, healthy and lean Being. Amen !!

Just some links of interest...

Meditation
A good place
Inspire
What is belief
Randy Pausch (long version)
Peeking into other people's vision boards

So tired (lazy) lately. Since last week I've just had the hardest time motivating myself and getting going. I'd so rather lie in bed and not really sleep, just rest.

A few weeks ago I was 5-6 days a week walking and or working out. This last three weeks it's all I can do to get 3 maybe 4 workouts in. My weight is still *slowly* dropping; I'm down 25 pounds to date which is all good. I worked out Tuesday morning and my muscles are still pretty stiff from that. I did a 40 minute walk TO the gym, a 15 minute weight circuit (chest arms legs) and then 40 minutes walking back home. My chest is the most sore. I did that butterfly thing and it bloody well hurts!

Mentally I guess I have a few things weighing on my mind. Our lawyer is working on completing some issues related to the duplex subdivision. Meanwhile I'm waiting to hear from the previous owner about The Leaky Basement. After all it is his responsibility to pay for the basement repairs on the tenant's side of the duplex after LYING outright on the property disclosure. And the usual financial behind the eightball stuff. Year of the Ox and all that...

Little over 5 more weeks to vacation- just a little over a week off but somehow I need it already !! Just going to do some little projects around the house- tidy things up, maybe replace some light fixtures. Some teeny tiny (affordable) updates. And sell some things on Kijiji that are sitting here in boxes, doing nothing. I *could* go home but I'd rather do that at Xmas. I have I think 12 days off around then to spend there, and it'll be "warm" compared to Wpg (unless we get a mild winter which would RULE)

All good things in time, she sighs. Patience, temperance, balance (she yawns) Slow and steady (*snore*) Easy Does It (*eyes roll back in her head*) Seriously! I'll have to look in the Continuing Education courses and see if anyone teaches these things ROFL!!!!! I'll throw tomatoes from the back row.

=)

On a rather GREAT note I just got us tickets to see RUSSELL PETERS on Sun Oct 11 which will be GREAT. I'd have loved to go to Rumor's Comedy Club for a cheaper laugh but evidently they are closed for renovations. I can't believe the only comedy spot in Winnipeg is closed for 2 frickin months; what do people DO here for fun?! Seriously!! (And how is it there is a Winnipeg Comedy Festival but only ONE comedy club?)

Ah yes, SUNSHINE ! I was almost starting to forget what that looked like! Sunny and upwards around 30 degrees in the area today. Must get out in it today and get active. I didn't work out yesterday and in fact (*gasp*) yes, I cheated yesterday.

Homemade organic tomato soup (not bad itself- just vegies with herbs, salt and water) with dill, some cabbage, a half a potato, some this, some that- some of everything really. All good things. But it was the 4 pieces of buttered bread WITH said soup AND half a bag of vegie thins that undid me. I think I ate a day's worth of calories (I know I did) but I wasn't feeling well for most of the afternoon and didn't eat from about 130pm until around 8pm. By then I was HUNGRY HUNGRY. Anyhoo, 3 pounds up and I'd rather be 3 down but wudev. I know it's just temporary gain and you pay the piper the day after for the day before. Today it's water, water, water- walk, walk, walk and possibly a good workout and swim at the gym later. Especially if I get outside and get warm. A cool indoor pool is good for that...

In other news (but still on the topic of water) I just got my city water bill and was surprised to see that MY water on my side of the duplex is like, three times that of their side. Now- we did have a plumbing issue where the shower did not divert all the water to the shower head and water GUSHED out the tub spout while you showered. He takes 30 minute showers so I can see where that adds up. And it was like that until last month. And our 1972(?) Admiral washing machine leaks (and sounds like an aircraft carrier but that's another post). So these could likely be factors in why our water bill was 300 bucks. Pretty sure our hot water tank (which must be about 20 gallons based on the limited hot water we get out of it) is probably 15 yrs old as well although I don't see what that would do to the water bill. But holymother...

I have to confess I'm not used to paying "city bills" after living with a sewer and a well on rural property in BC for so long. I find it *weird* to pay huge property taxes that incorporate my garbage pickup, water and sewer services into them. In BC I paid my own 30 bucks a month for garbage pickup and well, never serviced my septic in 13 yrs because hey- we were on a hillside and had "good flow" and excellent drainage, if you will. Not really any need to *do* anything. Shoulda shocked the well at some point but nobody died so whatever. Hence 600 bucks a year in property taxes after the 50 percent government grant that BC so generously gives you AND MANITOBA DOES NOT (she says heatedly). Aside from "luxuries" like living on a school bus route (which meant regular snow clearing) and being 50 feet from a fire hydrant I really had nothing to pay for! So going from 600 bucks a year to 2800 is pretty irritating.

Still working on the subdivision of the duplex units. Likely take me the rest of this year to leap through the hoops and get approval from the city. Few more dollars to the lawyer to complete the process. I'm meeting with my realtor today to talk values of each unit and appraisal processes so I've got all my little duckies in a row. Gives me a few options by doing this- if I *wanted* to sell after these tenants move out in the Spring, I certainly could. Don't know if that would be the wisest decision, but in a pinch it would be feasible. What needs to happen is a few upgrades on THIS side (electrical especially), pay some debts off, save some dollars and move US into a nice 2 bdrm condo with a view and underground parking. And a pool. And a gym in it. Yeah....yeah, that's the ticket. Or on the flip I could easily live in da hood in a small older house that costs the same and live comfortably there either way. Then rent THIS side out, which would make this duplex a money EARNING investment as opposed to the expense it currently is. The rent we would earn from both sides would easily pay our own personal mtg and that's the goal. At least, Goal Number One.

The condo is now earning money (finally) I managed to finagle the mtg pmts down to $250 biweekly. With the condo fees, the insurance, the hydro and the property taxes it actually squeaks out a whopping $50 a month- WOO WEE! But regardless, it was COSTING me $150 previously. So a few tweaks to this and that made it a positive flow. I honestly don't care how much, as long as it is able to float along on it's own without any financial intervention from me =)

The duplex costs me money but, I live in one side. So I pay for that priveledge. Again, property taxes 250 bucks a month (*groans*). Hydro with a 1960 furnace in my side (in Winnipeg, with an 8 month long winter and a shitty cool summer) = VERY EXPENSIVE. 200 bucks a month, no lie, and that's on payment plan. Insurance = another 'bout buck fifty. Yada yada yada, and the beat goes on. Needless to say it's the 'zact same costs I had living in the condo WITHOUT any investment properties. However, tweak tweak tweak and we may be able to eak out a living here over a bit of time. We'll see the truth when we get to tax return time and see if all this was worth it. Or not.

Anyways peeps, this day is warming up and I need some Vitamin D time =) Chow for now, over -an-' out.

Okay time to invite some good, beautiful and positive energy into my space. I could type on and on about the tough times, the year of the ox, the car breaking down, the financial juggling, but for what?! To invite more? No thanks! No thank you, Ever Giving Universe, I have had enough!! No really, I'm done... At my max. Thank you, though, I really appreciate the abundance of shit but woo-ee am I full right now. Not of shit, just full- stuffed - eaten my fill of it ! THANK YOU! No, no desert, really! Not even if it's wafer thin... I can't eat another bite.

Yeah, I'm going to go for a long, long walk in the sun this afternoon. I'm going to see how great everything looks after a long, solid rain. Hey, the Big News is we all have times that try us. Everyone does. Nobody is immune from pulling themselves up and getting a grip from time to time. You can't climb a mountain without tripping a few times on the hillside, or feeling like holy crap will I ever reach the top? Which hill is it over anyways? I can't SEE from here.

Nope, you can't. Sometimes you need to see where you are NOW. Look at how far you have COME already- you've made such progress.. Sometimes you just need to focus on where your foothold is, where the next step is, so you can reach the next plateau and climb to a different viewpoint, a different outlook. Yes, we must find that outlook....I just want to see around the corner. Just give me a glimpse !


Today's puns :

• “It became clear that some of the librarian's best abilities were put on the shelf.”
• I asked my lawyer friend why he painted every room in his house yellow. He said, "This is my legal pad."
• My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She's always using sighcology.
• My friend started making humorous comments about the items in his wife's curio cabinet. The worst part is he knows I hate knick knack jokes
• A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
• Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
• A bank manager without anyone around may find themself a-loan
  

=) Arf arf arf, yes. Too punny.

I watched X Weighted last night- I think it was "Amy" who was on. I so love that show. She's the same height as me, was about 30 pounds heavier than my top weight but lost 50 pounds in 6 months. I wonder where she is now.

I'm plugging away, scale wobbling between -21 and -23 pounds from the start on July 9. Enjoyed my first "cheat day" yesterday, diving face first into a pile of dim sum. =) I feel pretty good about rewarding myself for losing that much. I wasn't guilty about it although I did punish myself today.

Yup. Worked hard at the gym this AM, 45 minutes of strong heart thumping cardio to combat the damage yesterday. Today's diet will be chicken and spinach, lean lean and more lean.

Raining here daily. Makes it hard to get motivated- last week I managed only 3 workouts and find myself tired and mopey. Hopefully we'll get more sun before fall and winter get here (all at once usually she now says knowingly.) Oy but the soggy stuff continues.

While I was working out I was contemplating this here Year of the Ox. Oxen are hard working people (*ahem* moi) but omg what a hard, hard year this has been and continues to be. It is a work hard year. It says it is a work of prosperity brought on by hard work. I feel like all year I've been tilling fields, and ploughing through to get planting so I can have a healthy crop. Sadly I see not the prosperity yet ! I see more ploughing. Ugh. When, when does the plan drop the supplies ?!?! When do we receive food and reinforcements! Holymother...

I have discovered OATMEAL!

I remember when I was a kid I frickin HATED the stuff. It was gooey, gross, pasty. Omg- I hated it. I figured I did something wrong to deserve that for breakfast, LOL!

Today? I have discovered it can be very good food. I don't like mine overcooked; in fact, 2 minutes does it for me. But omg the varieties you can make ! So far I've done cinnamon, brown sugar splenda and raisins. I've done freeze dried strawberries in it with cinnamon. I've done a tiny bit of egg white in it (...that was sick. I don't care what body builders say, that is disgusting. Don't do that one!) Great thing about oatmeal is it's protein content (which is I think 7 grams per cup?) And at 1/3 of a cup for breakfast, it's only about 125-150 calories, too. That makes a good quick, low calorie start to the day. I've been doing my best to stick around 5 small meals of 250-300 calories (ish) which is working pretty well. Keeps me satisfied (and eating!) all day long. Mmm, eating.

I think my next venture may be trying to get more variety into my diet. I've been making a conscious effort to get more greens in there. Spinach, broccoli, asparagus seem to be staples lately. Chicken is starting to make me snore already, so I've been introducing shrimp, tuna and crab in it's place. Loving the 40 calorie low fat yogurts and hot peppers stuffed with feta (only 25 calories each)

Speaking of heat we finally have some here. 34 degrees today FINALLY. Watching the news this morning, they were interviewing some local moms who agree it has been a long wait to get the kids outside for a good time in the summer sun. All I can say is this BETTER be an indian summer that lasts well into what should be fall. My first winter here (2007) that's exactly what we had. I recall November being easily around 15 degrees every day and sunny. I was sooo pleased. I couldn't imagine why people complained about Winnipeg winters! But I just HAD to ask.... My answer came this year. Winter 2008 started way early with snow in October and lasted until MAY this year with snow May 25th. That was not cool. NOT COOL AT ALL. So summer coming late is well overdue and best be continuing for the next 3 months !!! I will do my best to ENJOY my day off today in the summer sun.

Off to the races !!

Oh and PS... I was starting to think I lost my touch. I've been finding loads of 4 leaf clovers lately. I have four of them under a piece of glass drying as we speak, and gave 3 away to coworkers, wishing them luck. Hopefully someone capitalizes on it !! L8R