Wednesday, May 30

Well, we tried.
Over the weekend I tried Pulsatilla. I tried handstands. I tried downward dog. I tried pillows to elevate my bum. I tried flashlights and music. And finally today, I tried the ECV with the Obgyn at the hospital. We did just about every attempt there is (*just about*) to move the baby from breech to "normal" head down position. Her bum is firmly wedged in my pelvis and she cannot or will not move at this time.
I will, however, continue to *try* to move her. I will try chiropractic. I will try accupuncture. I will try to find an inversion table to borrow this weekend. I will try visualization and possibly another Body Talk session. I'll try everything I can.
My options- failing her changing position on her own- are pretty limited. If I had the financial resources, I *could* hang around Vancouver for 1-2 weeks near the Women's Hospital, near my due date, hope to go into active labour there and be delivered breech as-is where there are physicians and specialists who are familiar with breech birth and can and will do so. On the island (allegedly?) this does not exist. For fun, I will try to see if anyone in Victoria might?? I suspect my first stage of labour would be long anyways, and it might be possible to entertain the idea of driving down to deliver there if we are quick to move...
My other option, should I choose to stay local, is to just simply accept the concept of C-Section and elect to plan the birth here with the ObGyn. I just have so many *feelings* about this, including this overwhelming need to *prove* to myself that I can birth on my own. I really wanted to *own* that right of passage. And yet part of me is prepared to resign, acknowledges the "safety" features a cesarian birth offers vs a breech birth... no cone heads... no forceps... no vacuums... How conflicting. I hear good things from women who have had the CS process- and I know more than a few who have- with positive thigns to say. And I know that the end result, no matter which way it happens, is BIRTH! Both ways we will meet her! I am trying to keep this thought at the forefront.
Interesting repeating lesson in my life this past year though, which is this: don't expect things to happen or unfold as you think they will. Look at the house purchase. Tried to do so six ways from Sunday over a 13 month span, and in the end, after I gave up absolutely everything financially, once I bid on a house that was THE cheapest I had looked at and we were at the eleventh hour in the pregnancy... THEN it worked. Maybe with this birth I need to exhaust absolutely every effort to move her from breech, and in the end, at the last minute, accept that the result will simply justify the means. And maybe- just maybe- on the day we go in for a planned C-Section we will find to our surprise that she has moved head down and will choose herself when to come. Who knows.
I will simply follow her lead and see what happens.

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