Sunday, November 15


8:12am
/cell phone rings
/eyes flutter open- looks at clock. Wtf, are you serious? Who the eff...
/ignores phone
8:34am
/lies there thinking who is dead
/lies there thinking who won the lottery
/can't sleep, DAMMIT! Who WAS that jerk!?
/smoke pours from ears; gets up and goes downstairs to cell phone
"PRIVATE NUMBER"
Hmmm. I see. Someone savvy enough to block their number from appearing when they make random 8am phonecalls to people on weekend mornings because they are inherently EVIL. Who could this be. I know nobody who would dare call me this early on a weekend for no apparent reason. Except one, but Mom would normally leave a message and I *think* knows at this stage in the game that pre-9am? No calls. Thems the rules. Phonecalls are only received in our residence between the 9-9 window. It's universal; it's THE LAW!!!!!!!
8:40am
/feeds herd of cats and lies back down on couch
/contemplates who it may have been that phoned?
/recalls how envious I was of my cousins growing up, in who's home Sunday mornings were religiously sacred and reserved for sleeping in until noon. My mother was always confused about this. I thought it was amazing and good.
8:43am
/cellphone rings again
/leaps up and runs to the phone, catches 2nd ring
"Hello?"
/ladies voice answers me
"Oh, sorry, I must have the wrong number..."
/me, steaming on other end of phone...
"Well, I guess you do."
/slaps phone shut
/back to couch to stew about jerks that phone early for no effing reason. To phone numbers they apparently aren't sure are CORRECT in the first place...?!!
/looking for reasons to STAY UP now that my valuable morning sleepytime has been so rudely interrupted.
I hope that woman had some good important news to tell someone, like how she won the lottery or something. Let's hope. I'd prefer that she have something positive to share with someone at this hour than something negative.
Good luck, Rude Lady! Hope you win!!

4 comments:

~n~ said...

Barb's kids got to sleep in?!?! Why am I only finding this out NOW?! LMAO I can't sleep in if I tried. the dog wakes me up like clockwork around 7 - feed dog, feed cats, let chickens out and feed them... sometimes I'll manage to go back to bed for another hour or two before the kids wake up, but mostly not. LOL the kids slept in until 9:45 friday morning!!!! *bliss* (i bet you wanna come live here now!)

and just for the record, I'm not the rude lady who phoned this morning, pretending to have a wrong number.

Debbi said...

ha. Yah, my story was WAY WORSE! ;)

although, you have the weekend on your side, so you've got a pretty tough fight there.

Darned lady. She should really not phone people that early!!!

Beauty of Expression said...

You have some serious morning grumpies..............hahahaha.....
Hands her a coffee..backs away.
You know I love you....I would never try to call you so early....geesh. Who are these people??? lol

holymotherofgod said...

N, it wasn't Barbs kids it was the Elgoods. They had it GOOD, man!
And I hope you guys read Deb's 3am hysterics on her blog.
BEAUTYGirl, you EXIST! You WRITE things ONLINE even!! I'm AMAZED!!
=)
Oh and it's not JUST morning grumpies, they last all day =) But I admit its pretty bad early on lol Thx for the java!!!