Tough weekend.
Found out that we will never meet you -at least, not under the right circumstances. You are already gone... way too soon. At 10 weeks and 4 days they tell me you just stopped growing. Early next week I apparently have surgery so you can be freed from your little tomb where you are sleeping. Even today as I write this I have no symptoms that anything is wrong. I feel cheated, I feel this need to grasp at straws that someone was wrong, that this is all a mistake. But I know if I choose to allow myself to second guess that I delay the acceptance of this loss- of losing you.
I hope you know you are important and that you matter. I am so very sad that for whatever reason you were unable to complete your journey. Maybe this was your journey? Maybe your message was simply to say a brief hello and give us hope. All I can tell you is that we loved you already. We are so glad you came to us. We're just so sorry to see you go back wherever you came from. Thank you for Being.
3 comments:
How incredibly odd. I posted a deep & meaningful post/ follow up and the commebt disappeared!! Life is being wry; I was just talking about moving forward and trying again and so it makes me rewrite my thoughts. How very wry indeed..
I find myself feeling much more philosophical today about this loss. Truly nature knows best. It simply took care of what needed to happen. My choice that I am given here is how to process this. Today I recognize that life is change. In my experience, in my past, I've endured much more painful losses and darker moments than this, honestly. I say this not to take away from this moment or diminish this loss but just to clarify that I will walk through this. Life only moves forward. It is filled with promise and opportunity, with change and movement. I choose today to move forward with it and happily so. I wish this Child of ours a beautiful thank you and send it lovingly on its way. And I move forward..
Wow, this is so well written, expressed so beautifully and tenderly. I choose to believe your little one's journey was completed as intended and you gave them exactly what was needed. You are loved so very much.
Wow, this is so well written, expressed so beautifully and tenderly. I choose to believe your little one's journey was completed as intended and you gave them exactly what was needed. You are loved so very much.
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