Today was the good news bad news day.
Good news bad news was that I got a phonecall from the hospital at noon asking could I come in right away for my surgery. Stammer, stammer, stammer, yes! I quickly showered and threw everyone in the car and was off. Strangely I had a positive experience there. Nurses are amazing people. They deal with it all and yet still retain this insane ability to be... NICE. There are professions I think I could do, like being a cop(!) but a nurse I think would be super hard. They were so supportive and really happy to admit a person in good health. Apparently sick people normally go to the hospital. People that are healthy and otherwise in good form don't normally wander in for surgery. I got praised for having no health issues, non smoker, no family health history, no allergies, not a risky person for surgery. Wow, she says, I wish they all had these answers! How nice to hear =) Before 330pm I was already done and out the door. I felt really sad when I got there and when I talked to the nurses and doctors. But once I was in the operating room they relaxed me and distracted me with small talk and I quickly gave in to the reality of what was at hand. Everyone there agreed it was sad to lose a baby. And it is.
Over the rest of the day sure, I have had my moments. But mostly I feel this movement towards reassurance and peace with it all. I can't change a thing about the results. I simply must accept and move forward. I choose to do that and it's time to really focus on keeping my health optimum. Got a few pounds to lose now and a renewed appreciation for keeping my good health as a primary concern. Will be signing up for the New Year's Day blood donation drive as a kick off to my 2015 health resolutions. Good news is that I can donate again which was going to be off limits for a year from now. Best that I give my type o blood away this holiday season and save a life. Hey. It's only fitting.