Tuesday, June 23

All hail caesar!

(Mott's is on sale at work; I couldn't resist...)

Mmmm, pickled asparagus and caesar rim.

Can't go wrong, seriously.

So today I have a joke for you. Actually some puns. ENJOY!

What do you call a country where everyone drives a red car? A red carnation.

Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well, red.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)

A backwards poet writes inverse.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist, will you get repossessed?

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.

Sign for a networking business in Australia: The LAN down under.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

When she told me I was average, she was just being mean


Debbi said...

har har har.

Oh, you silly. And I make a MEAN ceasar! yummmmmmy!!!!! Did you know that the Ceasar is a Canadian drink? Apparently, a lot of yankees have never heard of or tried one! whouda thunk?!

~n~ said...

good yolks today, chickie. LOL

btw it looks like a pickled green bean in the drink - where did the asparagus come from?

dh still thinks it VERY odd that our parents drink ceasars first thing christmas morning but don't drink much the rest of the year.

joan said...

I love a good one liner. Fun!