It's been quite a year. I spent much of 2013 trying to dig my way out from under post partum depression. Much of the Spring was spent under a dark wet blanket of sadness. I am so glad that I completed the mental health program called Bounceback and received CBT from a great psychiatrist & psychologist. I am still seeing them & continue to do "self work" reading etc.
Being back at work has been empowering. I have felt like "I can do this" more so than feeling "I am solely responsible for providing for my family & feel incredibly overwhelmed by that responsibility". And I felt so vulnerable- I told myself that "I am a walking disaster making constant huge life altering mistakes". Pretty low. Look at that self defeating language. The heaviness of what I was telling myself- and eagerly believing- was sinking me like a rock in a pond.Today I have a much better tape in my mind. I feel capable. I have all the things in my life that I need. A house, car, a great job, my health, a supportive partner & a great thriving toddler daughter. I don't care if things I own are not "new" or "the latest"- I'm just humbled to even have them at all. I have discovered that I am even more resourceful & thrifty than before. I learned better habits so I could release fifty some odd pounds. All those things "that went wrong" in my life (that felt so important as they happened) are done and the worst is truly behind me.
I know emphatically that I've done absolutely everything in my power to overcome ... everything.
And that's all anyone can do.