So many people, so many phones, so many bad, bad manners.
Let's start with cell phones since they're the easiest to critique.
Let us pray:
Dear Lord, we forgive those that have heinously less IQ than us. Like those that have not or will not figure out that when you are being SERVED by someone either at a restaurant or coffee shop or bank or WHEREVER, get off the phone. These people are stupid, yes, annoying oh for sure, but they deserve your forgiveness. Even though they're a plague on society.
Dear Lord, we forgive those that have ringtones that make you want to stab dull objects into their eye sockets. I mean She Bop by Cindy Lauper was awesome about oh, twenty years ago. But She Bop today on a phone in midi tones is .... so.... sooooo not right.
Dear Lord, we also forgive those that are unable to put their phones on vibrate or turn them off during concerts, performances, oh anywhere public where we are all focussed on something. And then Cindy Lauper comes on, She Bopping away. In the middle of dance recital.
TELEMARKETING PHONE ETIQUETTE.
Okay this list is definitely my MOST HATED. I can't STAND telemarketers at the best of times, and it drives me insane when they do the following :
- Mispronounce my name. My last name is FOUR LETTERS two of which are the SAME and TOGETHER. There is no need to add VOWELS or CONSONANTS and make it longer or into some other name. Should be simple. Apparently isn't.
- Assume your title is MISSUS for some reason.Who decides this?! Is there something on Equifax that says my marital status?! Am I on a MARRIED PHONE LIST?! What happened to MIZZ or just asking simply BY NAME?! I feel like saying no my mother is not home, actually, you have the wrong Mrs Jones... jerk. How about you also assume I have 2 kids, a dog and drive a Chrysler Seabring convertible? (Which speaking of stereotyping, check out anyone that drives that particular car. We have yet to see anyone other than a 40 something woman driving one. Please verify this for yourself, I'd love to poll this one LOL!!!)
- Won't take no for an answer. The ones that hang on for dear life and blurt out frantically as I'm hanging up that "their coverage will only add to whatever you already have!" Just SHADDAP, if I say no I mean no you moron. Now go phone someone else who might have more patience than me.
- Charities. These I have a soft spot for, I confess. Most of the time I will entertain these calls. But I will NOT give credit cards over the phone. The last charity I had phone I requested to be mailed a form. They hummed and hawed and insisted they PREFER credit cards and that they were REALLY trustworthy. Good for you! Send me the form please. I got upgraded to a supervisor for CLEARANCE for a form to be mailed. Now I understand a SURE SALE is better than a MAILER that may not be returned. But if someone REQUESTS it, for the love of gawd just do it. Plus a lot of the time I find things out FROM the mailer I didn't know from the phonecall. Like I'd be supporting the Pedophiles Anonymous Charity by my donation and things like that. Okay I exaggerate. But I have discovered that some charities are religion based which I steer away from on purpose. I have no use for the whole "I'll build you a village if you just accept Jesus into your life" thing. Sorry, won't support it. Let little Ajibway worship who he wants. Maybe they worship cows or chickens; so what?! Go thump your bible somewhere else. Jerks.
- TIME OF PHONECALLS. And this goes for anyone, telemarketer, friend, family or foe. There are certain hours that are ACCEPTABLE to phone within. I personally believe in the 9 to 9 rule. Never phone someone before 9am or after 9pm at home. These are "safe" hours. I had a dentist's office that used to phone me to remind me about appointments at 755am without fail all the time. Not cool. My mother also used to violate this policy, relentlessly. So I politely informed them all of The Rule and they have since obeyed =). But really it does surprise me that I have to TELL people about this. Everyone knows the ONLY people who are awake at 8am are parents of small children and old people. Anyone else I assure you is NOT RECEPTIVE to speaking to anyone else until after their coffee..s.
Spreading sunshine and happiness into the internet everyday
That's my gig...
And the beauty is you can "listen to it" or turn it off, unlike a telemarketer!!